Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Randomize
