I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Every concussion has its silver lining
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Randomize
