I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
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