My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
