In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
