i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
My penis needs a shock collar
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Randomize
