im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
