i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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