Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Randomize
