Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
