This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
