I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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