But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
