I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
Houston, we have a squirter
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
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