youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
smell my finger.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
