i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Randomize
