You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
I need a burrito and a hug.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
