dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
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