hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Randomize