So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
