She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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