If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
