sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize
