eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
