But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
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