I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
