Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
