I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
This is classic penis vs brain.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Randomize
