Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize