i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
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