they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
