I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I wish i was in the wii world.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Randomize