Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
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