It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize