I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
And then the night went full on bisexual.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
