Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
