girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
