Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
