Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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