I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Randomize
