so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
And then he peed in my hair
Randomize
