epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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