We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize