don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Randomize
