singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Randomize
