Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Randomize