I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
