if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
