So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
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