would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
