My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Randomize
