Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
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