ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Randomize
