I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
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