let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I wish life had little blips of pornography
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Randomize
