Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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