my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
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