Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
there is puke in my bra ... again
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
