Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
