Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Are my feet made of real feet?
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
