okay pat passed out under dana's car
I wish i was in the wii world.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
I lost the right to judge tonight
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
