Whod you bang
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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