Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Randomize
