On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
FUCK WHALES
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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