he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Randomize