think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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