That's intense
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Randomize
