epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Randomize
