They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
